I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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