I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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