even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
