You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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