The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sobbing to NWA
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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