Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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