I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
