hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
