My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
