I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I still have a little drunk in my system
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
