the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
