No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
