just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
