The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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