In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
