I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
