Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
