Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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