Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
