We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
