if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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