he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
