I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
