Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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