he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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