Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We don't watch enough power rangers
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
