Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
