Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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