You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
