Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
