I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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