Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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