1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
