jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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