my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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