she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
