nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Who died my cat blue again?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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