tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
