Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
