I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
