There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
