and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
