Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
