she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
