Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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