Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
