just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
