I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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