I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
