Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
