i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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