i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
